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Watch Dr. Ben Roberson's Full 2024 Commencement Address

Commencement Address: Cultivating a Magnanimous Life

Working with David O’Neil at Pacifica has been a gift—the gift of friendship over time.  In fact, David and I have worked together for 16 years. 

I can still remember the first time we shared a meal together. I was interviewing for the Dean of Students position at Pacifica Christian in Santa Monica with David and a table full of administrators. We were in downtown Culver City on an outside patio eating Italian food. I was young, naive, and working hard to earn the job—I was nervous and trying to impress David as well as the others at the table. At one point, I was asked if I wanted wine with dinner. I was flustered by the question because I was in my twenties and had no idea what wine I would even order.  So instead of saying “no thank you” like a normal person, I went to my default mode and made a sarcastic remark in hopes of getting a laugh, “No,” I said, “I took the Nazarite vow.”

To be clear, I had not taken the Nazarite vow. I had not taken the vow Samson took in the Book of Judges that included not drinking wine or cutting my hair. The group of administrators, however, out of hospitality took me seriously, affirmed my vow, and did not order wine. At that moment, I realized that I now had to live with this very weird lie; and probably couldn’t drink or cut my hair anymore.  

Over time, this has turned out to be just another moment we can look back on and laugh. 

It brings me so much joy to recount the memories I have of and with David over the years. It is the type of friendship that is built on familiarity born from real experience,  a result of those irreplaceable elements of time together and growing up with one another—quirks, faults, and strengths alike. This certainly results in a certain type of friendship.

Friends with Great Souls

This friendship as I have described thus far is pretty typical. In fact, lots of people have friendships like this one; both good people and bad people. 

However, my friendship with David is more substantial than I have described thus far. It is distinct from the friendships I have with the neighbors on my street, and it is distinct from some of the very good friendships I had in high school and college. Some who I have had more time with and more experiences with than David. 

This is because my friendship with David has shaped me to be a more substantial person; to live with a more significant purpose, to be more adventurous, to be more faithful, to be more confident; and at the root—to be aimed towards what is good. My life is different than it would have been without this friendship. 

My marriage, my fatherhood, my professional life, my church life, my life with Christ, all the ordinary tasks I take on each day, have been formed in a more substantial and purposeful way. All of this because I have a friend with a Great Soul.

Graduates, in your time at Pacifica you have been offered this same gift. You have been surrounded by men and women with great souls. Coaches, staff, teachers, and even many of the students among you, have great souls. And, to the degree you have leaned in with these individuals, you have been formed. 

Pacifica has taught you to notice that some friendships do more for you than others. 

There is a word for a great soul—Magnaminty. This virtue is rarely talked about. I think the reason is that it is too hard to say. It has too many “Ns” and “Ms” close together. It may help to know that magna, translated from Latin is “great,” and animus, is the word for “soul” or “spirit.” Put them together and you get—Magnanimous. 

The idea here is that there are people walking around who have great souls and others who have small souls. Some who are more substantial and some who are less substantial. Some who are more real, and some who are less real. Some who are in close communion with Christ, and some further away from Christ. Some who experience a sense of purpose that leads to a more joyful life, and some who find themselves lacking direction, and disillusioned. 

Two Connected Charges 

Graduates, I want to encourage you in two ways this evening. These two ways are  connected:

1. First, to find friends with great souls;
2. Second, to forge a great soul for yourself. 

A Magnanimous Soul Described: Quality of Chest

Let me start by using Lewis' description of Magnanimity. 

He says, “There is the head, which is our reason. And the reason is supposed to be in charge…”.

“And then there’s the belly where we have appetites like hunger.” Our appetites are not necessarily bad. God made us hungry, but if you let your appetites run your life, your life is going to be a hot mess.

So reason is supposed to be in charge of your appetites. Unfortunately, reason can’t quite do this, at least, not with much success. When reason and appetite are in conflict, appetite wins. 

So, Lewis says we need a “chest.”  This chest is our well-formed and rightly-ordered passions. It is a trained love—as opposed to an impulse love—for what is good. 

This “quality of the chest” is the love that has been cultivated over years. Sustained, becoming a habit, and after it is a habit, it becomes core to who you are—it becomes a deep love—in your chest. If you were to fail it, it would go against who you are at your core. 

This quality of chest is magnanimity. The magnanimous person, the person with the Great Soul, has a chest that is aimed at the good things. 

On the other hand, if you cultivate a love for trivial things or bad things. You are not magnanimous. The person who dreams of and pursues the trivial or the bad has a small soul. 

Forging A Great Soul

So, how do we cultivate Magnanimity?

Graduates, the entire education at Pacifica is one that is aimed at forging men and women towards magnanimity. We strive to create a magnanimous school culture. One where everything we do is a tool to train your heart towards great things. Our intent had been to educate your heart—to give you a quality of chest—a great soul.

The biggest change you will experience after Commencement is that it will be up to you to create a life of magnanimity. If you desire a great soul, you will have to work at it. It will not come easy. 

No one plans to foster a small soul. No one wants an insignificant life. They let it happen. 

Like getting in shape, cultivating a great soul takes regular practice and commitment in your day-to-day habits. 

Practices for Magnanimity 

So, what are the practices that lead to a great soul? There are many! Here are six:
 

1. Traditions & Rhythms 

First, establish traditions and rhythms in your life that orient your heart towards what has meaning and purpose.

At Pacifica, the Dedication Service, the All-School Retreat, Friendsgiving, Lessons and Carols, the Church Calendar as integrated into Weekly Chapels, All-School Prayers, and this Commencement are all traditions and rhythms that we value and form us over time.  

Not everyone enjoys these events the first time around; however, most grow to understand their purpose and goodness by the time they finish high school—and some, recognize the way it forms them.

As you move to your next season, engage in the most important traditions and rhythms of family, school, work, and church. Find a church, and go weekly. More than likely, you won’t feel like going. You might minimize their importance. However, these traditions have great value in your life. They anchor you.

I would add, go to the funerals, go to the weddings, don’t miss the big moments in your life and your friends' lives. And, invite others into your own moments of importance—be open-handed and open-hearted. This is what men and women with great souls do.   

2. Do Challenging and Meaningful Things

Second, do challenging and meaningful things. 

At Pacifica, we asked you to take risks; to do hard things. We made you memorize and speak for 4-7 minutes in public, we had you read hard books, write long papers, and engage in difficult discussions. For those of you who leaned into these challenging tasks, your hearts are all the more formed and this graduation all the more sweet. 

Likewise, it is up to you to continue to practice the task of doing difficult and meaningful things. Don’t settle for mediocrity.

3. Practice Beauty 

Third, practice beauty.

There is a reason Pacifica travels to the mountains for our All-School Retreat. There is a reason we love our classrooms facing an open field looking over the ocean. Spend time in and with beauty. Visit state and national parks. Go to the beach. Get outside. 

When you spend time with beauty, you rise above yourself and are able to contemplate things that are beautiful. And in so doing, we more clearly recognize what is true and good. 
 

4.  Read Good Stories

Fourth, you may have noticed that at Pacifica we love a good book. Actually, we love a good story. Stories—like the world we live in—are full of adventure, heroes, villains, conflict, and romance. These stories expose our own struggle for goodness and greatness—our own desire for a Great Soul. 

Whether reading Homer, Steinbeck, or Beauty and the Beast, engaging with moral dilemmas and virtuous characters educates our hearts; it forms our moral imagination. 

Friends, keep reading. Read widely and read consistently. I know that screens are a big competitor. Social Media will shrink your soul. Put that down. Set time aside daily to read—even if just 20 minutes—and read good books.

5. Find Friends with Great Souls 

Number five—find friends who have great souls. You should be doing the first four I mentioned with friends, in community.

Graduates, next year you will be engaged with a new friend group. Don’t settle for just anyone. 

And how will you know they have a great soul? Because a great soul will desire what is good for you and for themself. They will celebrate your wins, encourage you towards great soul-forming habits, and they themselves will be aimed at what is good. 

And of course, you will need to be a good friend to others—celebrating their wins and  encouraging them towards what is good. 

Graduates, one of the most important choices you make in the upcoming year will be who you choose to spend time with and the life you choose to create with them. 

6. Imitate Christ

Lastly, and most importantly—imitate Christ. Christ has the greatest soul of all. Christ is the most magnanimous. His chest was aimed towards the ultimate good, all the time. He is our prime example. 

The Spiritual Disciplines are the best tools to orient our souls in the right direction. Here are just a few:

• Sustain a regular routine of prayer 
• Read Scripture regularly
• Seek time in solitude

A Great Soul is cultivated through spiritual disciplines because they clarify our purpose and meaning. They reduce anxiety in moments of struggle because we further comprehend that good ultimately triumphs over evil. And, they strengthen our faith, and therefore our confidence—freeing us to act more justly and to love more lavishly.

Conclusion

Graduates, again, I want to encourage you to do these two things:  

1. Create a magnanimous life by practicing the habits that orient your chest towards what is good. 
2. And in this next chapter of life, seek out a great soul in friendship. It doesn’t have to be someone accomplished. It is simply an ordinary person who is seeking what is good for themself and for others. 

Remember the great souls who surrounded you at Pacifica; the coaches, the staff, the faculty. Remember your parents, who you may have come to take for granted, but they are in fact, some of the deepest and most magnanimous souls you will ever meet. 

The life of the magnanimous person—the person with the Great Soul—is nothing more than an ordinary person who sees more clearly the reality of the rich love of Christ. One who has cultivated his or her sentiments towards what is good. And over time, with good friendships, finds a clearer purpose and reality that leads to a joy-filled life.

Graduates, this is my hope and prayer for you.

Watch Dr. Ben Roberson's Full 2024 Commencement Address