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This article is a modified version of a talk given by Dr. Ben Roberson at the 2024 Staff Retreat to faculty and staff.

In an address to University Students in 2011, Pope Benedict shared,

“Always remember that teaching is not just about communicating content, but about forming young people. You need to understand and love them, to awaken their innate thirst for truth and their yearning for transcendence. Be for them a source of encouragement and strength.”

The content we teach, the sport we coach, and the play we produce are all important; but our mission is aimed at forming students to think well in order that they can live well.

Our role—no matter our title—is to remember that our mission applies to each individual student we serve. As Benedict put it, we are to serve as a source of encouragement and strength. 

To this end, we serve as mentors to our students. We are to mentor. Because mentoring is an effective means of forming students. 

The word mentoring is used in a variety of contexts. In the professional world, it describes a more experienced professional mentoring a young professional in the skills and tasks of a given job. At Pacifica, we are using the word mentor in a broader sense. 

At Pacifica, we define mentoring as a guide to living well.  

A mentor at Pacifica assists parents in the intellectual, moral, physical, and spiritual formation of students. 

The central question is: How do we help students become mature and virtuous adults? 

Mentoring is a means to make the school’s mission applicable to individual students. A tool for Personal Formation conducted on an individual or very small group basis.

Mentoring is not mental health counseling or therapy. It does not aim to address a particular problem such as anxiety. 

Mentoring is an assistance towards practical wisdom and a more virtuous life. Mentoring is the way the overarching mission of Pacifica is made particular to individual students.

How do we form students?

So how do we mentor? Or more specifically, how do we form students? My direct answer is—we don’t.

St. Josemaria Escriva shared in one of his homilies, “Remember that you are neither the model nor the molder. The model is Jesus Christ, the molder is the Holy Spirit, through grace.” 

As mentors, we need to respect this reality. It might be helpful to think of it this way: we can’t even form ourselves. It is the Holy Spirit—through Grace—that forms us. So when we mentor another person, we need to recognize this is the work of the Holy Spirit—by grace. 

This should point out to us the importance of practicing the virtue of humility in our mentoring. We cannot do the formation ourselves.

There are a variety of images for formation. Carving in stone, building a cathedral, or woodworking. The image that I believe works best, to steal from David I. Smith, is that of a gardener. A gardener can work to make an environment that is as conducive as possible for flourishing. He can remove obstacles that would inhibit flourishing such as soil preparation, watering, removing rocks, and ensuring sufficient sunlight. For mentoring, it’s the grace of God working in the souls of our students. 

We serve as the conduits of grace. We serve to humbly point them towards the model, to pray for the work of the Holy Spirit. 

Although we are not the example as Josemaria points out, we are certainly an example. Your mentees are watching everything you do and picking it up. They are probably imitating you when you aren’t looking. The way you are keeping or not keeping eye contact, your emotional presence, your cheerfulness, the way you say hello to others, and whether you are picking up trash on campus. Mentors—show your virtue. 

Students are learning from you. When you share about your own life and experiences, opposed to simply directly telling them what to do, they are going to glean from that so much more. 

Two ways you can serve as a Good Mentor

Here are two simple ways you can serve as a Good Mentor:

First—love the good. Live a life that pursues good and share it with your mentees. Desire to do what is right. Continue to grow and mature your own heart. And, pursue, as I shared in June in my Commencement address, a magnanimous life.

Second–love the person. Care for the entire life of the mentee. Care for their school work, their athletic or artistic endeavors, their families, their hopes and dreams, and their own issues. See the person in front of you. Seek what is below the surface. Be okay with your mentees making mistakes. Mistakes are part of their formation. If you forget this, remember yourself in high school. Respect the beauty and mystery of the human soul that is right before you. Seek to understand. As Josemaria wrote, “Charity is primarily manifested through understanding.”

Love the good yourself, and show your mentee you are after his or her own good. 

Remember, we don’t form students—that is the action of the Holy Spirit. But, we can be instruments of that grace by loving the good and loving the mentee. 

Mentoring Curriculum at Pacifica

Every Monday, mentors will meet with half of their mentees over lunch. The Mentor Lunch Curriculum is designed to be both structured and flexible, focusing on a different theme that connects with the season of the school year and the church calendar. Each meeting is centered around a specific theme, accompanied by relevant quotes and scriptural references.

A 2-Year Curriculum

The mentor lunch curriculum is a two-year program (Year A & B) that students will complete twice over four years. Each student will be mentored by four different staff members throughout this period.

Structure of Each Session

1. Introduction of Theme: The mentor introduces the theme of the session, sharing the associated quote and scriptural reference. This sets the stage for the discussion and reflection.
2. Personal Reflection: The mentor briefly shares their own experience or insights related to the theme, providing a personal connection to the topic.
3. Student Engagement: The mentor facilitates a discussion by posing the provided question(s) related to the theme. Students are encouraged to reflect on and share their own thoughts and experiences.

This approach provides a clear framework for each session while allowing for meaningful, flexible discussions tailored to the students' responses and experiences. Below is a look at the first and second-semester themes.

1st Semester Themes   |   Meetings 1-8

Welcome and Invitation: Setting Forth

Life Together: Good Risks, Influence, Time, Friendship, Family, Social Maturity, Tradition

2nd Semester Themes   |   Meetings 9-16

Forbearance: Epiphany, Humility, Self-Control

Fortitude: Preserving the Good

Grit: Resilience, Trust, Forgiveness

Citizenship: Sending Forth